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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

nine

isn't it funny that we don't count the day of our birth as our first birth day? that we wait one whole year before we really celebrate? shouldn't the actual birth day count?

i remember so well the night before-as much as the day of. i have written about it almost every year. the food I ate, the forced contractions on the couch (that we still own and is still hanging in there) and trying to sleep that night knowing my life would change forever the next day.

nine is not my favorite number.  i never liked odd numbers. avery will be nine tomorrow.  she was diagnosed with rett syndrome on the ninth of November. nine is divisible by 3 and I hate three as well.  i like things even. because i said so.

so of course it makes sense that I'm likely as excited tonight as I was back in 2006 the night before we met our goose. i was hopeful and giddy and excited and nervous and happy.

i cried so much as she turned 4-her first birthday with the rett diagnosis.  i cried when she turned five-and not because she was going to kindergarten and growing up like she was supposed to. i think i stopped crying at her birthday last year.

but this year?  it is so much better.
Avery has friends.
We are having a party and inviting her friends.
and i could cry over that.
except I'm too happy.
we have had parties for her with OUR friends.  and our family.  but never one with HER friends.
maybe it is just a few friends. not a ton.  but it counts.
her gift from us is tickets to Taylor Swift in August (fine it is a gift to me too).
she is so happy.
Rett be damned.
Nine.