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Friday, October 17, 2014

be afraid...

the kids were off from school today and the day crept up on me which means no child care.  im literally counting down the moments till i get to leave and go to the office for a couple hours. nolan has a birthday party this afternoon and i realized that today was the only day to get a present for said birthday party. that means taking both kids to Target.

yikes.

so we packed up and went before lunch hoping it wouldnt be too packed and that we would get in and out quick.  once we go there I put avery into the cart, not the seat area the big area.  she is almost too big for that spot but today it worked.  we made our way to the toy section and after a million "mom, come here's" we end in the Lego aisle (just where I had wanted to start but Nolan had other ideas).  As we are moving our way down the aisle a woman looks at me and smiles and says Hi Im so and so and is this Avery? she explains that one of her daughters is in the class Avery is mainstreaming in this year and that she got the letter I sent in to go home with parents and its in her car right now and she read my blog and cried and cried.  she then went on to say that her daughters also have ieps and she knows the struggle and would i want to get together for coffee? umm, id love that I say.  i tell her to shoot me an email.  she says she was just on the phone and she saw Avery and had to stop to say hi.

i swear everytime i think "i hate people" something like this happens.  she changed my whole outlook and we actually had a decent and dare i say fun time at Target.

as we are headed back to the car, i see a woman stopped behind my car and then taking out her camera and taking a picture. and for a second i thought crap did I forget the placard? and then i realize she is taking a picture of the "october is rett syndrome awareness month" that is written on my back window.  we pass as she realizes this is my car.  she says is this your car?  i say yes it is!  she says my niece has rett syndrome-i am going to send this picture to my sister! she tells me who she is and I say i think we have spoken. i introduce her to the kids and she reaches over and sweetly touches avery on her shoulder, really looks and says hi to her.

i could have peed my pants.  it was a trip to target that was meant to be. and I almost didnt go because i was afraid.  but i recall a quote a wise friend recently shared: "be afraid, but do it anyway. live anyway!"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I almost cried reading this (actually i did). I have been so afraid to go out and meet people. Finally I set up a play date for Emma this coming Monday. I got to admit I have been so tempted to come up with an excuse and cancel it. But you know what, we are having that play date. Thank you for the post!
-Ruizhu

Momttorney said...

For different reasons (mostly b/c Mia is a crazy lady and I feel like I can't chase her and be what Sammie also needs from me), I feel such anxiety about going out solo with both of them. I MIGHT have a little PTSD from the early days when things were yucky w B and I felt so alone with the girls. anyway, lately, I've been just DOING (hello --- DISNEYLAND with two kids?! Did it.) and you are right. there is something about "doing" in spite of the fear and anxiety that feels so damn good. Renegade mamas. xoxoxo - allison