its getting easier

Tomorrow Avery will be seven.
SEVEN.
every year (since her diagnosis) at her birthday I get nervous and sad and unsure.  unsure about what to do about a party, unsure about what to give her for presents  and sad about the fact that she will be one year older and still in diapers.
at four-i lost it. at five, we had a great huge pool party and she loved it. so did we. but I still cried.
at six, we were in tahoe-low key with some family-the pool all day then ice cream cake and a couple presents and it was close to perfect. but i was left with some guilt for not giving her a party.

this morning we took the kids to the zoo.  it was great.  we have recently inherited a Convaid
EZ Rider special needs stroller and it made such a huge difference. Avery loved it!  she was quiet and smiling with calm hands. then tonight we celebrated with close family at our house.  Avery had a great cake with purple flowers and butterflies on it and she was super excited to eat it.  I asked her if she wanted more cake or to open presents using my hands and she pointed to the "cake" hand!  Too funny.  We opened her great gifts: Nolan gave her a "special sister" bracelet and she got a "special daughter" bracelet from mom and dad along with a musical hello kitty jewelry box. She got loads of cute outfits too. I think she liked it all but really just wanted more cake. and feeding it to her didnt make me sad


as they say: the pain never really goes away, but it does get easier. 

her cake.

getting ready to blow out the candles

at the zoo!