Two good ones in a row. Weekends, that is.
For a long time I have sort of secretly dreaded the weekends-especially the ones that didnt involve any desginated mom and dad plus other adults time. I know that sounds incredibly terrible-but after living through the last 3 years or so with rett syndrome, and the 2 years leading up to it, I have come to dread many things that involve: 1. multiple hours not being able to go anywhere because it is me alone with the kids, or 2. activities that involve other children Avery's age that are talking and running and painting their nails and asking questions and just being regular kids. I have just come to dread all of that.
Except now Im not.
But I have been in such a HABIT of hating spending time involving either 1 or 2 listed above that I havent really been trying to break that habit.
Then Easter happened. We had our annual egg hunt here at our house. Avery made it clear she couldnt have cared less about the egg hunt and I was happy to just let her wander around the yard listening to Mumford and Sons and JT. And I really was and that means I am starting to just accept that yes, this stuff is hard, but it is also ok sometimes.
Then this weekend we had nothing really on the calendar. So on Friday night I said: We should go to the zoo tomorrow. And immediately felt like I shouldn't have said it. I DREAD taking Avery to the zoo. I just never know what will happen. Will she scream? Will people stare? Will she have fun? Will she be overwhelmed?
Well, in typical Avery fashion of late-she surprised us and she loved it. She was great. quiet and sweet and even went on the cars with Nolan. The guy running the cars was amazing and totally got it when I told him "she cant talk but she can understand you" and he helped her in and out of the car all while encouraging Nolan to help her. There was only one other little boy on the ride-I saw him flapping his hands a little and then signing "more" to his Dad at the end. I looked at his mom and just smiled that knowing smile. It felt like a really neat moment that we were there together.
All four of us went on the little roller coaster-Avery sat with Red and kept her head down the entire time and Nolan was with me yelling "I want to get off!!". It was great. We rode the carousel, the train and Nolan went on the airplanes. Then is started to drizzle and it was nearing lunch so I said "let's go to habit burger" and Nolan said "Can we eat inside?" and I said "well I dont know....ok sure!" We drove back towards home and stopped at Habit Burger. We went in and Avery stood with me in line while I ordered. We ate there. In a restaurant. She was awesome. Sure she knocked over her drink a couple times, and launched a couple fries when she whacked the basket but whatever. We all ate lunch together in a restaurant. I think I might have had the biggest smile on my face when we walked back to the car. Yeah I know I did.