Sunday, April 7, 2013

i wonder

I wonder how I  will feel in exactly one week.  The eve of my first marathon.  In Boston.
I am imagining that I'm going to be a ball of nerves-a total stress case, a mix of anxious/nervous/excited.  Today I feel ready.  I wonder if I will feel ready then.

Everyone says Im ready.  I hope they are right.

I have done the work.  Sure I could have done more, trained a little harder, but I was a little worried about an injury sidelining me from the race so I took it easy-as a beginner.  I feel good about how I trained and I do feel ready.

It is just so tough to imagine it.  There are over 500,000 spectators at this race.  No that is not a typo. Im so used to running alone at this point I cannot picture having that many people watching.  Although our wave is last and I will take forever, so most of those spectators will likely have packed up by the time I cruise through. But still.

Im taking it one day at a time.  For now, Im looking forward to getting on a plane with good friends on Saturday, meeting up with some newer friends Saturday night and then hitting the Expo Sunday and getting to meet with the researcher who will be using the money we raised to test drugs on genetically engineered stem cells. Ill also be trying to find time to meet up with a journalism student at Boston University who found my story and wants to do a story on the beginner runner from California!  That is really as far as I am letting my mind go for now. Because that is a lot.

But I do wonder how I will feel the night before, the morning of, and during the race, how long it will actually take and if Ill make it over the finish line in one piece.  I wonder if I will be emotional at the start, the whole way or just at the end.  I wonder if my phone will die, if Ill have enough shot blocks, if I will get blisters or chafing. 

But I know that all of it-the blisters, the cramps, the jitters, the fear-are all going to be worth it.
I know that because we did it-we reached and surpassed our Team Goal of $100,000.  At this moment we are sitting at $105, 510 in fact. My personal total is $8668. It is amazing.  Something life changing could come from this research.  I wonder....

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