I'm a runner. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I have to keep reminding myself of that. In 17 days I will get on a plane and head to Boston to run the 117th Boston Marathon on Team Rett. I can't really explain what it feels like. Partly because Im trying not to think about it too much and partly because its all I can think about. Im nervous, excited, anxious, scared, thrilled, and totally second guessing myself. But Im a runner. And I know this because when you start saying things like "Im only doing 8 today", you are a runner.
It feels really good to have had this goal-to have been training in earnest for something for such a long time to accomplish something I never thought I would even think about doing. Training has kept me on task, focused toward a lofty goal and Im proud of my commitment to it.
I decided to try to get a spot on Team Rett the day of the 2012 Boston Marathon. Nearly a year ago. Ideas you have that will come to fruition in a year always seem like such great ideas at the time. And then you find yourself 20 days away from the biggest challenge of your life and you wonder what the hell was I thinking exactly?
But I know what I was thinking. I was thinking about Rett syndrome and awareness and raising money. I thought it was a win win situation-raise funds and awareness for Rett while training for and finishing the most prestigious marathon ever. I didnt realize it would change me so much in the process. I still can't believe this is happening.
Today I realized how many people will be there on race day cheering us on and the old and new friends I will get to see that weekend. That is overwhelming in and of itself. Im going to be a mess. I have already gotten the chills just thinking about the chills Im going to get for so many reasons on race day. It is going to be so hard and so absolutely incredible.
Im a runner. Im a runner. Im a runner.