seems like forever ago...and just yesterday. that was my brother's comment when I posted on his facebook page today that tomorrow our mom will have been gone for 6 years. he nailed it.
6 years is a long time. so so much has happened in the last 6 years. for starters, Avery was only 8 months old when my mom died. 8 months. just a fat happy baby. we had our second child who will be starting transitional kindergarten in August. we had Rett syndrome enter our lives, I have found my place in the working world and have become a runner. So much has changed. But it certainly does still feel like yesterday.
Sometimes I still cant believe that she is gone. Red asked me the other day how often I think about her and I told him every single day. and thats the truth. I literally think about her EVERY day. mostly it is a fleeting thought and other times its a punch in the stomach. Usually it is something bittersweet like when I was watching Les Miserables (the movie) recently and I knew how much she would have loved it and how she would have called me to tell me about it before I ever saw the trailer and she would have seen it way before I had a chance to and would have said "Oh Erica, you HAVE to see this film!" I miss talking to her about that stuff.
I do feel like she is with me. I see her in myself and in my kids. Avery reminds me so much of her not only in appearance but in her mannerisms. She walks with a purpose sometimes that only my mom had. She even has the same hairline.
The other day I was looking for some old bill or statement and came across all the sympathy cards we received when she passed. I kept them all. I started reading them and 45 minutes laster sat there with a smile in a puddle of tears. it is so clear from reading those notes that she was so loved, respected, admired and appreciated. she lived a wonderful life despite all the hardships she had growing up. she was a wonderful mom and I am so grateful that she was mine. i miss her.