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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

good stuff

good stuff.
I have a feeling 2013 is going to be filled with good stuff, big and small.
It is starting well.

I have realized recently that I was actually really depressed in this weird underlying way-and decided to try Prozac again and it is just working.  Well.  Noticeable difference. Needed it.  Clearly. More patience. I feel SO MUCH better and so like myself all at the same time.

This month Avery has started visiting one of the general ed. 1st grade classes at school so she can "try out" general ed. Get to know some typical peers.  Have them get to know her.  It has been incredible.  Like perma grin, verge of tears incredible.  I wish I was there to witness it.
Last week, on her first real visit she used her little step by step communicator ( a button that she hits with her hand to activate pre-recorded messages) to introduce herself to the class.  Her special ed teacher took her to the class and asked if there were any questions.  the first little boy to raise his hand simply said "Im glad you are here!" how can you not burst into tears reading that?  She went back again 2 days later and "talked" with some new friends about pets.  She went back today.  I could not stop smiling as she shared her day with me this evening using her step by step.  She said the highlight of her day was visiting the general ed class.  And she was quiet. and when she was "telling" me about it she was beaming.  BEAMING. It is a start and it is a good one.  Who knows where it will take us?

I finally got on a jury.  I know, thats weird.  but the process is so interesting to me, it is a short short case and Im really enjoying it.  Getting really behind at work, but I should be back in the office on Thursday. The best part is when an objection is sustained, seeing the attorney try to rephrase the question in a way that is not again objected to by opposing counsel.  And I really just want to know the attorneys LSAT scores!

Im almost halfway through my training for the marathon.  Ten miles this Saturday, then 12, then Im flying to San Diego for another half marathon and Im actually looking forward to it. Then it gets serious.  I have never gone more than 13.1. I sort of had a mini epiphany recently when running.  I was thinking about how I used to think "I will never run a marathon, I cant". I started thinking about all the things we tell ourselves we "cant" do.  I can't wear that outfit! I can't make that toast/speak in front of others!  I can't sing!  I can't draw!  I can't do math!  I can't go to the movies by myself! I can't run that far!  And then I realized what we ALWAYS mean when we say we can't is actually we are UNCOMFORTABLE/DON'T WANT TO. It really is as simple as that.

There is just a lot of good going on.  Good people around us supporting us in all ways.  So grateful for friends and family.

Oh, I went to the movies by myself this weekend.  Not uncomfortable at all, it was actually so so great. Can't schman't.

Good stuff.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

running thoughts

Apparently I can't sit down long enough to really get my thoughts on running out in an articulate manner so Im going for a list:


  • there are two types of people you see on runs: those who respond when you say hello and those who dont.
  • Im not going to stop saying hi
  • you also see lots of people walking. with coffee.they alternately make feel jealous and like a badass.
  • i really hate cyclists. hate. might have yelled at one today.
  • i love running with friends
  • i love running alone
  • i hate the first mile or 2, every time
  • mile three is the best part, every time
  • the minutes seem to go by so much faster in the second half
  • the end is really the best part, every time