i challenged myself today. i went to a 10K, a trail run, alone. it was my first 10k and my first race in over 5 years.
i knew it would be "hilly". i knew it would be tough. i did NOT know the first 1.5 miles would be uphill. and rocky. and that by minute 2 i would be out of breath.
the map they had for the course said things like "uphill" and "roller coaster" and i got nervous. they were announcing things like "watch out for rocks, tree roots and cracks", "try not to fall" and i got even more nervous.
then it started and i was soon left in the back of the pack. actually just in the back. panting. wanting to turn around. wishing i had signed up for the 5k. thinking about how much harder the half marathon will be in just 6 short weeks.
but then i thought about why im running. im running so i can do the boston marathon IF i get a bib. im running because avery can't. avery actually is able to run and we are lucky for that-but she will never run a race. so i think about that. and how hard it is for her on a daily basis just to communicate her most basic needs and i push forward.
sure i walked a few times. very briefly.
by mile 3, halfway in, i felt better. i felt motivated. i was in my stride. i knew i wasnt last, i had even passed a couple people.
the last mile and a half was almost all downhill or flat. i crushed that part. was flying-almost fast enough to really get hurt on those rocks and roots. but i made it. it was a gorgeous run. fog, sun, forest, mountains, views. gorgeous.
some jerk guy who i totally had beat came out of nowhere and beat me to the finish line, but still there were about 10-15 people behind me. sure one was a 70 year old man but i wasnt last.
i felt great when it was over, i texted red and the kids to come pick me up and cooled down as i waited.