Yesterday, I was mad (really Im mad everyday, but yesterday I was just more aware of it). Even though I had a great day--I got to work out (ran 4 miles without dying) and then got to hang at the pool with a good friend, her kids and Nolan. Red was home with Avery. And that makes me mad. Not even really sad so much anymore, just mad.
Avery is too much for the kids club staff to handle at the gym, so she misses out on that.
Avery is too loud and too overwhelmed at this busy pool, so she misses out on that.
And while I was happy to spend some quality time with Nolan and we had a blast, I was still bummed pretty much the rest of the day because Avery couldnt be there.
Im mad that Avery has Rett syndrome and I cant just take her anywhere I want, anytime I want. There is always arranging that has to be done. Always. Im mad that I get a pit in my stomach anytime we are invited somewhere-with the kids. (which Im starting to realize is happening less and less-getting invited, I mean).
Im so mad that she has Rett syndrome and no matter how much we try, she just will not have a typical life. Im just mad.
And the sunburn didnt help.