I don't keep too much to myself. I probably give people a little too much information at times-but that is just the way I roll. I really don't like to have secrets (Im no good at keeping them anyway!) and Im kind of an open book. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so it an easy read for those paying attention.
So, many of you may know that I rely on a prescription medication to chill me out. And you also probably know that I have been taking this medication off and on since 2003. After Nolan was born-preparing myself for a reprise of the big time baby blues I experienced with Avery-I requested a new prescription for Wellbutrin which had worked so well before. Yes, its used as an anti depressant-no, Im not depressed. I took it for a year (even though I never got weepy after Nolan was born)and then increased the dosage right around the same time Avery was diagnosed with Rett (coincidence? I think not!). Another year passes and I now feel like Im no better with it than I was before. Kind of feeling like its a bit worse. So with my Dr's blessing, Im going to stop taking it-so hold on to your hats, it could get interesting.
Im not quitting cold turkey-even though Wellbutrin is one drug that wouldn't be that difficult to just up and stop. I will be slowly lowering my dosage over the next 10 days or so. And see what happens.
Im going to try to see how I feel without anything messing with my brain. Im not afraid to admit, however, if I do need something to help me deal. I am kind of (ok, seriously) angry. I am kind of sad (really sad). I overreact to many things (almost everything). I yell (a LOT). Plus I have some memory issues that I think are related to the Wellbutrin. If I feel like I need it, we are going to try a mood stabilizer a.k.a. anti convulsant. I asked the Dr. what this would do to my brain. He said it can help dull some of the over firing neurons that make me extra sensitive to things and make me overreact. I like the sound of that. stay tuned.