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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

hold on to your hats, people!


I don't keep too much to myself. I probably give people a little too much information at times-but that is just the way I roll. I really don't like to have secrets (Im no good at keeping them anyway!) and Im kind of an open book. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so it an easy read for those paying attention.

So, many of you may know that I rely on a prescription medication to chill me out. And you also probably know that I have been taking this medication off and on since 2003. After Nolan was born-preparing myself for a reprise of the big time baby blues I experienced with Avery-I requested a new prescription for Wellbutrin which had worked so well before. Yes, its used as an anti depressant-no, Im not depressed. I took it for a year (even though I never got weepy after Nolan was born)and then increased the dosage right around the same time Avery was diagnosed with Rett (coincidence? I think not!). Another year passes and I now feel like Im no better with it than I was before. Kind of feeling like its a bit worse. So with my Dr's blessing, Im going to stop taking it-so hold on to your hats, it could get interesting.

Im not quitting cold turkey-even though Wellbutrin is one drug that wouldn't be that difficult to just up and stop. I will be slowly lowering my dosage over the next 10 days or so. And see what happens.

Im going to try to see how I feel without anything messing with my brain. Im not afraid to admit, however, if I do need something to help me deal. I am kind of (ok, seriously) angry. I am kind of sad (really sad). I overreact to many things (almost everything). I yell (a LOT). Plus I have some memory issues that I think are related to the Wellbutrin. If I feel like I need it, we are going to try a mood stabilizer a.k.a. anti convulsant. I asked the Dr. what this would do to my brain. He said it can help dull some of the over firing neurons that make me extra sensitive to things and make me overreact. I like the sound of that. stay tuned.

10 comments:

mj said...

those d*** neurons. over firing in your brain and under firing in avery's. :/ call me if you need someone to yell at. i won't be offended. so glad you're an open book. i'd recommend you to anyone.

Lynn said...

I will be very interested to see how it goes for you. Sometimes the effects of going off are really unexpected...I won't tell you mine because if you are like me you will start imagining that it's happening to you :) Good luck!

Colleen said...

You make it sound as if it is not good to be seriously angry and sad, um, I might have a problem too ;-) send angry texts my way if you need to blow steam off, and maybe get some ear plugs, that might help take the edge off the kids. Hope it goes well!!!

Zenaida said...

Erica Thank you so much! I really appreciate you just the way you are.. An open book! A very beautiful book inside and out! You can count me in if you ever need to vent. I know you are a great listener and I thank you for that. I would love to reciprocate the favor.


I love you

Catriona said...

Being open is good - thanks for sharing this. Will be thinking of you. I'm trying to deal with ALL the things you describe - being sad, angry, over-reacting and yelling. Wish I knew what the answer was. xx

Doris said...

:) - medication has often helped me through life. I don't often get angry, I just get sad and it's not helpful to be staying in bed for weeks!

Amy said...

I don't know if you're a believer, but I am so I am sending prayers your way. You don't know me, and I only know you through your blog posts, but you seem amazing, medicated or not. Never forget that you are an awesome mom--regardless of how much you might be yelling, or crying! I'm glad you're not afraid to read your book to us out in cyber space, blog world. It really does help other mommy's to hear your stories! Hugs to you and good luck, cyber friend!

The MacDonald Family said...

hoping for a smooth next 10 days. I have to agree with previous comments, being an open book is incredibly refreshing and you are a pretty awesome and inspirational book at that!!

Dawn said...

I appreciate you sharing the truth, as always! The world would be a better place if everyone was honest! P.S. Have I mentioned how jealous I am that you are going to Hawaii sans kiddos? How is that for honestly? xoxo!

Jessica said...

Hey Erica! Thanks for posting this ... I have also gone this route. Had a HORRIBLE experience going off Effexor about a year after we had a stillborn baby girl. It was so much worse than being depressed, the whole going off drugs thing!
Swore I would never go that route again, but had some anxiety issues and went back on another, and then back off again. I'm not sure what my future is in that area, but I DO know that that entire process is horrible. So I will be praying for you and for you to have an easy transition. Good news is that I've heard good things about Wellbutrin ...

Love to you and those sweet kiddos ...